Awards and Weddings

First things first....Congratulations to Tricia from Confessions of a Recovering Cynic because her man put a ring on it.  As I type this she's sitting in her jammies, sipping on champagne, and looking at Bridal Magazines.  Yup, I just outed her for being a girly girl.  It's ok, roll with it girl!  It's your day and I don't want to be the only one going all ga-ga girlie. 

 
So I seemed to wrangle me a couple of awards but it's just taken me forever to post them.  I'm such an ungrateful wench.  Paddle me if you will!

This award is from the dashing Kage from Sex, Sequins + Sociopaths who I am totally cooking dinner for on Thursday.  Here's hoping we avoid that whole salmonella thing!  Just kidding....I have my food safe and generally I'm a good cook. (Did I tell you Manfriend said I was a better cook than his MOM and his EX-Wife?  I think I did but I had to say it again.  Yeah, bitchin.)

So I'm supposed to tell you 7 things that you probably don't know about me.  

1. I love the smell of fresh plastic....like new Mc Donald's toys.  

2. I have 1 tooth missing.

3. Love love lovvvvve glutes ass massages.

4. Can't stand the feeling of foam.  I'm referring to foamie mattress kind of   foam.  I possibly will vomit when touching foam. 

5. Mushrooms make me gag.

6. I miss, "You Can't Do That On Television."

7. Currently I'm spiraling into wedding planning mush brain.  Seriously, where the fuck do I begin??! 

I'm sending this on to this wackjob El Grande from My Lucha Libra Life 

and to William's Girl who gave me this next award.

She's a sweet gal who's also been enduring this lousy ass winter we've been having in Calgary.  Apparently she's a "Delicious, inappropriate, emotional, badass, superstar!"  Well that's certainly a recipe for a whole lotta fun and jail time.  I think we'll have to meet up in Calgary sometime. Yes indeed.

 
To claim this award, there are two rules: (1) I have to re-gift it to five other blogs that I love and (2) I have to write things things about myself that I love. (Can't I just focus on my flaws?  It's much easier.)

What do I love about myself?

Hmm..

I do make people laugh a lot and dish out some pretty good insults on a whim.   For example, some guys we work with decided to start texting me from numbers I didn't recognize but I knew who it was. (A fellow coworker who has my number was hanging out with these other two and I burned one of them and then they starting getting in on the text war)   We'll call him Sparky because he's an electrician pain in the ass as most electricians go. This is the convo:

Sparky:  I'm NOT GAY!!

Sparky:  I'm NOT GAY!!

(I'm totally confused with this Gay thing but decided to roll with it.

Me: When you enjoy buttsecks like you do...it's a key indicator.
 

Sparky: I'M NOT GAY!!

Me: $10 in Lube says you are.

Sparky:  Only the cheap stuff I'll go $11 a tube lol

Me:  Wow youse are cheap like a bathroom loonie condom dispenser (loonie = 1 dollar for youse Americans. I used to be a server and I can't tell you how many Americans asked me how much a loonies was...even QUARTERS! They looking the fucking same as American quarter.  Don't get me wrong, I don't have a hate on for our southern brothers..just idiots.)

ME: I say that with total respect of course.

Sparky: Remember I said I had no kids... that means no cheap ass dink wrap. Lol

Me:  Well I also wasn't ruling out you spent too much time around radiation (please tell me you can't breed.)

At this point the other guy outta the three sent me a text.

Egghead: I am feeling left out.

Me:  You want a reach-around too? I'm sure the boys can help you out there.

So this went on and sure enough Sparky & Egghead thought Manfriend was feeding me these lines.  My buddy set them straight with a big ol' "Noooooooooooooooo you don't know her very well do you?"


That's all I'm going to say about myself.  Lets give this sucka out to:

Kagey - her blog certainly has that little bit extra

Confessions of a Recovering Cynic - I can rely on her for a laugh.

Glorious Sandwiches - It's a food blog but hey, sandwiches are beautiful and her sandwiches are extra beeauuutiful!


Since I can only count to three, I'm outta here!.


Peas Out

Whoops I Almost Forgot About My Award!

While I was on Vacay I was given an Award from this crazy cat named Bruce.
He's a blogging machine (I can barely keep 1 blog up to date let alone 4!) and one who's comments are always appreciated.  He also is a proud papa of a handsome black lab named Tucker.
So here it is:

So the rules for this award:
 

1.Link to the person who gave you this award. (In a post, or in your sidebar, wherever you have this) 
 

2.Pass the award along to seven other people who post about at least slightly amusing things and tell them. Either by emailing them or commenting on a post, etc. 

3.Say seven(X2)  things about yourself that no one knows. (Or at least you think no one knows.)

4.Pass these rules on. ( copy and paste this winners!)

Ok naming 7 things that I think no one knows about me is going to be difficult considering family reads this blog and well...there's things people don't know about be because they shouldn't. If they did I would have to kill them. Mwahahah.

1.  I am double jointed in my toes.


2.  Biting fingernails disgusts me and if I see you doing it I will promptly ask you if you are hungry and to stop eating your fingers.

3.  Even though I haven't watched it since I started working up North, I love Coronation Street.


4.  I have a huge lump on my head.  Apparently it's a cyst that will eventually have to be surgically removed as it will continue to grow larger, cause pain, and make me look like a freak.  This means I really can't shave my head again. I used to get compliments on my head when it was shaven.  Actually one guy on the city bus in Vancouver said to me, "I just want to compliment you on your head."  I snapped my head around so fast and with such a look of fury that the gentleman bashfully just pointed to his cranium.  Whoops, leave it to me to think an innocent compliment was in regards to a fornicating act.

5.  I decided I want to have a baby.  Not for a couple years yet but it's in the plan.  This is something that I always said I wasn't going to do.  Mostly due to the fact that I was such a fuck up and would be a horrible mother.   There are too many shitty-ass wastes of skin parents creating more wastes of skin that need weeding out of the gene-pool, that I didn't want to be a part of the problem.  Well things have changed...life has changed for the better along with that is my self-confidence.  I no longer feel that I will be bringing hell spawn into the world.   That clock is ticking and it's something that I want to share with Manfriend.  He's totally all for it as well.  I'm not gonna have to do the ol' Whoops-I-Stopped-Taking-Birth-Control-2-Months-Ago-Silly-Forgetful-Me surprise.

6. I've had 11 piercings and would love to have more but I'm just lazy.   


7.  If I haven't been getting any I will have full on happy ending dreams to compensate.  It also doesn't take very long as it does when in waking life.  Dammit. Sometimes it's with very odd people that make me shake my head but the worst is when it's with a co-worker.  I generally forget till I see them and I tend to blush and think, OMG they knnnnnow. 

Ok, have I embarrassed myself enough?  

Now for those I nominate!

1.  Sandra from Absolutely Narcissism  has to get an award if it's in regards to LOL's because I generally ROFLMAO when reading her posts.  Plus she's hot. Giggidy.   I wish she lived in Calgary so she could be my personal trainer to whip my jiggly ass into shape.

2.  This stanky ass bloggress named Laura from Awesome Days and Awkward Nights.  She's fairly new to the blog world and needs to post more.  She's an odd duck but cool enough she's coming for a weekend to our humble abode at the end of the month.

3.  Check out Kara at Visions unto myself . Today's post "When Maiden's Play" is such a lovely and eloquent tale of vomitus. 


4.  Old Cheddar and Fried Onions from Campfire Beers isn't all about the cheap Ha-Ha's but has many amusing life stories and is a total perve. I say that with total respect and admiration.



5.  Mr. Drake who reviews movies to video games with a unique and amusing style can be found at Drakes DoomsDay Corner.


6. This bitch makes me pee a little when read her blog Living Shallow, Living Well.  You gotta check it out.


7. The Roaring Dork really is poetically dirty and obscure when reviewing movies.  For example, Feb 3rd Post title:  "Exit Through The Gift Shop" Is Not Just a Tattoo My Mom Has On Her Inner Thigh."  


Well time to get my poop in a group.  Unfortunately I haven't healed that well from my surgery and had to get to a Walk-In clinic this morning.  I'm sore and tired but gotta finish laundry and get my suitcase packed.  Yup, once again it's time to head back to work.  If I had a normal job in the city I definitely wouldn't be going to work tomorrow but balls if I'm going to sit around in a Camp room all day.  I'd rather work, gross I know. 


Ta ta for now.

My Dog LOVES Vibrating Toys AND I was Given My First Award!

  I know ya'll ....oh wait, I'm Canadian... I know you all checked out this post because you saw "Vibrating Toys," in the subject line, eh?  Tsk Tsk...bunch of creeps.  I'm talking about my dog here.
  Last night we flew into blizzard  Calgary for our days off.  Manfriend's brother lives in the basement/house but doesn't eat that stuff you call ..Produce aka fresh fruit or vegetables.  We call him "CaveDweller."  CaveDweller fills that stereotype that plays WOW, works from home, doesn't clean, and well ...doesn't eat fresh foods at home (I don't know his eating habits outside the house).   Our first agenda, after massage and Chiro, is hitting up the grocery store.
  Sometimes a few wobbly pops are involved before we go grocery shopping.  Sometimes that leads to expensive grocery bills and odd purchases of items we really don't need.
  My dog has a gazillion toys but she's my baby doggie and my guilt of being away 10 days at time compels me to buy her more.  Plus she goes batshit crazy over new toys.  Her favourite is vibrating toys.  Vibrating Pussy Cat toys. 
Don't knock it till you try it. 

  Manfriend started off the torture by holding the toy, casually, while Shayla was rolling her treat ball around.  Then he pulls the tail...it starts to vibrate...dog gets down right excited standing on her arthritic, hind legs. 
Game on.

Obviously not Manfriend's hand.  It was my time to torment.

That is one effin' happy dog with her vibrating toy.

Treat ball interferes with the vibrating toy relationship.

Yeah, I'm wearing my bitchin' new apron.

Enough of my dog pictures.  Miss Melicious awarded me this:

Stop and check out her blog.  Always entertaining and feel sorry for her as she is in Alberta too.  Ok don't feel sorry for her but point and laugh when it's winter.  I'm doing that to myself right now. 


Now I shall pass this on to 4 bloggers that tickle my pink me pink!

Jill Hamilton 

(All kinds of fun & sexy-time)

Rita

(She did a post regarding the question if Zombies Poop. Nuff said)

Mustang Sally

(She takes pretty pictures and I appreciate that.)

Giddy Fingers

(I likey the way she draws "Periods."

Of course there is so many more I would love to award this to but my pot roast is just about done and well, I have to get back to life.

Speaking of life, Manfriend just booked our flights to the Bahamas/Freeport for January where we will be renting a condo for two weeks.  I'm just basking in that right now. 

Please don't hate.  We work away from home in -20 to -50 weather in the winter.  We so deserve this and we shall enjoy.

Viva la Sunshine!