Blow Guard?

Yesterday morning I received an email from a girlfriend (We'll call her McBoobs...she's got a fantastic rack) of mine.  

Subject:  For Real?

Body of email:

 

My response: It's totally for real.  The end piece can have one of those little vibrators. 

McBoobs response: Wicked awesome!! LOL I knew I wouldn’t have to look it up at work, all I had to do was ask you LOL 

 Apparently she's under the impression I know every single sex toy/aid/perversions etc...Of course I didn't shatter this illusion by telling her I looked up the website at work on my blackberry.  

I must say I'm intrigued and wouldn't mind adding it to the collection.  I mean, what a slogan it's got going on.  "Don't Nick his Dick.  Just Savour the Flavour." Yeeaaah...no savouring going on in this mouth.  That shit isn't lingering...straight down the throat hole it goes. Also I enjoy how the final line is "He'll return the favour."  Right after he wakes up from his  O-face induced nap?   

That's where I'm going to stop...before I get myself into more trouble. 

Remember, Blowgaurd is taking the JOB out of BLOWJOB.   Does that mean I don't get paid for them anymore?

6 Month Aniversary and my 100th Post!

Not one dirty butt has been dragged across my lips in 6 months!  Get your filthy minds out of the gutter.  I was referring to quitting smoking.

   Originally I started this blog as an additional focus to help stay on track but now it's just morphed into no theme at all.  All disorganized and random but hey, that's how I roll.
  I must admit it feels pretty damn good to be a non-smoker still and I'm fucking proud.  I haven't lasted this long since I started smoking at age 14.  This is it, I am NOT going back. *Fingers crossed* Even if it would help in losing the 10 lbs I can't seem to bloody well shake. (Smoking is such a fantastic appetite suppressant. FML)  However, I have more money in the bank, preventing wrinkles, not starting the day with hacking up tar lung butter (mmm sexy), and I don't stink.   The only problem is that so many people on site smoke, kinda goes along with the oilsands construction scene, and they stink.  I have to ride buses and planes with craploads of smokers and now the smell just turns my stomach.  I've become one of those non-smokers who smells fantastic.


One realization that came to mind as well...6 MONTHS OF MY LIFE HAS GONE BY?!?! What the hell man?!  When you basically spend only a week at your own home a month, it eats your soul time flies.

So in 6 months I have quit smoking, gained weight that is clinging on for dear life, gained more gray hairs, had to get a second pair of glasses for the computer, found out I have a degenerate disc in my lower back, had to start carrying EPI-Pens around with me.....er...I'm just going to stop there because I'm spiralling into depression getting sad. 

 Ok, ok...what else happened in 6 months?  Well really I worked a lot, enjoyed the hell out of life and I got engaged!  You see, I'm not getting old.  I am growing up.  Aging can suck but it's inevitable so have fun.  When I'm an old lady I'm so going to do shit (tell people off) that I couldn't get away with now.  It will be glorious.  Also, my hair will be every colour of the rainbow, once again.  


This isn't a fantastic, noteworthy post.  It's more along the lines of bragging rights/whining.  Rather oxymoron-ist post. 
Life has been busy and sometimes that sucks the creative juices out of you, and not in a fun way. 


Also Manfriend had to stay home to look after Kidlet for the last couple days, leaving me by my lonesome up North (I was so cold and lonely).  He did arrive to site this morning which means.....Imma so gonna get laid toinght!!!! Just sayin'.