Snow in July you say?

18 cm for Jasper yesterday!

From: The Weather Network

Some Odd Links for Your Morning Giggles

Lets start off with the weather in Ft. McMurray today : Fire & Brimstone

That's the way it looked at 6am at Beaver River Lodge. (PTI Camp) The new BlackBerry Curve Sucks balls for taking pictures BTW.  

I would so do John Stamos.  He just sounds like such a  down to earth guy.  He has many wholesome stories to  share with valuable life lessons.  Almost like Full House but they didn't have strippers & blow.  I just might have watched it voluntarily if they did.

 I wasn't kidding. I would so rim that ass. 

Seriously, why can't the Swedes toilet train their children like the rest of the world?  Do you really need creepy  accessories?!

 Gimmie, Gimmie, Gimmie,  (A whole lotta Creepy)

Now this is just creeptastic!

I don't know about you but I love checking out Etsy .  It's where people place their handcrafted items up for sale.  I bought this wicked  retro style pink & polka dot apron there.  Really I look so damn bangable when I'm cooking.   My Manfriend tells me so.  He also tells me I can clean the house in  this.   Dirty Bird.

Now this is a different sort of crafting site.  " Craftastrophe , because handmade isn't always pretty" Just WOW...oh wow.  That site it so fuct and I love it!!  I'm putting the Tom Selleck Sperm Plush Rattle on my Christmas wish list this year.  Manfriend sent me that link this morning.  Usually I'm the sender of weird and unusual links.  He makes me so proud *sniff*sniff*

 

Licks 'N Splits

That caught your attention didn't it?

Filthy perverts.

Actually it is the name of an Ice Cream Shop in Sicamous, British Columbia.  

I had seen it so many times but never had a picture of it until I was in a 3 vehicle accident (minor) about 4 years ago and decided to rent a cabin in this little town.   This involved a walk for copious amounts of booze to settle the nerves.  Low and behold I came across the sign.   I couldn't have named it better myself.

So suggestive I had to hump the pole.

Some Recapping of Our "Vacation," and Charming Pictures

June 30th we both fly back to Calgary on separate flights in the evening.  July 1st...Yay Canada Day...we pack up the truck with the kidlet, the dog, and an expensive cake in a cooler and embark on an 8hr drive to Grand Prairie.  

Manfriend and his siblings, who are scattered all over the place, got together and organized a surprise 65th Birthday for their Mother in Grand Prairie.  It was quite lovely and sweet.  Next time we fly there though. 

We passed many cows ( MOO!!!!) and fields freshly cut making me miserable with allergies.   Also....FAKKKKK did I ever want a smoke!  Every stop was  a smoke break for Manfriend.  

 Nipple stop.

Fortunately I usually had to pee or the dog did so it kept me occupied a bit but it was a challenge.  So used to chain smoking (if possible) on the long drives.  It's purely out of boredom and was greatly missed.  Mind you, I remember how I used to feel after a long trip filled with chain smoking.  

Word to the wise: DO NOT google, "Yuck," images.  OMFG You can not go back.

We stayed at the Best Western in GP and it was the nicest one I've seen.  The one on Hastings ST in Vancouver certainly doesn't compare.  That one is located within walking distance to the Playland/PNE grounds.  While walking there with my Dad, Step-Mom and lil' Sister when I was 20, I found a cardboard sign with " Will Give Head for Food," written in jiffy marker.  Step-Mom took a pic.  Should dig that up sometime.   Nnneeeyways..   I was well behaved and made sure to utilize the gym, especially after chowing down on all the junk food on the road. 

Overall the trip was super busy and I so super wanted a smoke when I got a few glasses of vino in me.  I just kept saying what Manfriends Mommy told me to say..I'm a non-smoker, I'm a non-smoker, I'm a badass muthafukin' non-smoker yo!   That last part is all me of course but it does give me a giggle imagining her say that throwing her fist up in the air.  Hey, whatever works. 

Once we arrived home and saw our overgrown, white-trashesque, yard we knew something had to be done. 

 Yay for Manfriend!  He's a good Man doing all the hard work.  He knows his place. 

I even went so far as to plant a flower bed in the front.  

 Gimmie a break ok? It's late in the season to be planting and this was buttloads of work.  You did not see it before and the soil is like clay.  I will post another pic after we get back home to see if it's still alive.  Hold onto your britches. 

We worked pretty hard and it is soooo rewarding!  It's great exercise, get some vitamin D and it kept me focused.  So Tuesday night we did up a big BBQ feast galore and afterwards went for a healthy stroll to the park.   

Ok..Maybe not that healthy

That's not coffee.  He's also smoking.  Bastardo.

Park time half in the bag! WEEEEEE  What do we always do??  Bring the camera and make asses of ourselves!

Who wants a schmoke?!?! Oh I do!

I am so freakin' gnarly.

Aieyayayayayaya

Ok..we make nice nice.

No, we're not camera whores at all!  The kidlet was ignoring us with her friend.

 I imagine, being 11, we are starting to become dreadfully mortifying to her.

Well I'm always perfect in Shayla's eyes at least.  That's why dogs rock.

Later on we did a fire pit in our backyard weed travesty.  (At least the front looks hella tubular). By that point we were "Full Cut," as Knickers would say and I inhaled enough wood smoke to make it feel like I smoked a carton the next day.

It wasn't a vacation but it was nice to spend time together as Manfriend, Kidlet and ma doggie.  They are kinda, sorta, well totally the most important things in my life so I appreciate every second we have together. 

Oh and it's been 33 days since I've had a smoke Bitches!!!  I rock your face.

What a Jerk - Dream

Of course I've had batloads of weird dreams but if I don't record them right away I often forget.  One that I do remember from the week that I took off was short but funny...once I fully became aware it was not real and I couldn't be pissed at Manfriend.


We were standing in our back yard, where there is no sod as of yet so it kinda looks like this: 

Take away the trees and replace with new suburban houses, which some still don't have sod in the front.  Somehow the guy right behind us has made it so absolutely nothing lives/grows in his muck that surrounds his house.  It's kinda concerning really...WTF is he spraying on there??!?  

Anyways you can also add loads of these to that picture as well:

Nasty, prickly bastards they are.  Gives quite the juicy *splat* when you get em with the weed whacker.  Satisfyingly so.

Back to the dream....So I was standing up on the deck and Kris with my dog Shayla, standing in the back yard.  When looking around I noticed all these massive holes similar to this:

They were much larger and deep.  Very deep.  

Shayla has been around many rodents ie: rats, chinchillas etc and doesn't have a problem with them.  She goes batshit crazy over the lil prairie gopher things..whatever you call them.  She all of a sudden goes mighty hunter like when one starts chirping/chattering at her.

The mighty suburban Huntress.

So off she goes exploring these holes, on the hunt.  I started yelling at Manfriend to grab her because she was going to fall in.  He proceeded to ignore me.  I jumped off the deck just as Shayla bounds down this hole.  All I see is her lil white bumhole flying down this hole and then yelping.  Well I'm freaking right out while yelling at Manfriend that we need to save her.  Then I turn and look at Manfriend and he says, "ALL RIGHT We get to use a backhoe!!"

I don't know why he seems to be such an uber-scroate in my dreams because that's really not his nature.  He's a sociable geek who is a good father and kind in nature. Just sayin' (Brownie points honey?). 

Calgary Doesn't Like to Follow the Straight and Narrow

My best friend, Snaggletooth, tends to come across funny things and shares with me.

This was a gem taken near her house in Calgary.

Thanks for the distraction giggles you snaggliest of tooths.

Gimmie a Couple Days

Been off on Holidays and by that I mean driving to Grand Prairie and back to Calgary, Manfriend's Mom's Surprise birthday party, and busting out the green thumb to make our front yard NOT look like booze infused renters.  Now we look like booze infused owners. 

Tomorrow heading back to site and back to work but I promise I will speak of our adventures and how effin' badly I had to repeat to myself, "I'm not a smoker."

Ta-Ta for now Kiddies!