Saturday, April 2, 2011

Banff Snaggletooth Shenannigans

Now that I am basically married and I work 800km from home, I get very little time with my bestie, Snaggletooth.   She's a single gal with a busy social calendar as well but she misses girl time with me so she booked a hotel room in Banff for some good ol' debauchery.

Well not quite.  You see, age and maturity is creeping up on us both right now.  Shit, I bought one of these:
Bodum Press for Coffee or Tea

Then I dropped $50 on loose Teas and was absolutely thrilled! I'm currently drinking the Digestive Tea.  See what I mean? Old. 
So our weekend wasn't what you could call wild.  It certainly was booze infused and filled with non stop chatter.  Also we ate a lot of junk. MY FAT ASS A LOT.  Right down to drunken pizza & wings at 1am.  Well it would have been there sooner if I had told them Room 130 instead of 103.  Dyslexic moments are a bitch aren't they?

In my flurry of getting ready for the trip I forgot the camera on the counter so all the pictures I have are choppy ones from my phone.  You know me, I must have lots of random pictures so here we go.

The begining of our trip on MARCH TWENTY FREAKING FIFTH.  
Into the Nothing
So Snaggletooth is driving and we're chatting away until we hit Canmore.  She say's to me, "Gotta stop cuz I gotta poop."  So being the discreet bestfriend (like I'm doing now) I post the below picture and status on facebook.
"Gotta Stop in Canmore.  Snaggletooth has to poop." - Poop Stop
Then I tag her in the photo.
We stop and I post another photo to facebook.
"Good ol' Crusty Trusty Macs." - The Real Poop Stop
I tag her again.
When all is said and flushed we hit the road.  I post the next picture.
"Not A Poop Stop"
Then tag her once more. 
Good thing she isn't a stuck up prude that pretends that women lack a digestive system. 

So on we go to Banff.
The Main Drag.
Notice something?  Yeah that's right...there's less fucking snow in the mountains.   It snowed non stop in Calgary that weekend. 

She slip into a slush puddle at this moment.

You know I made her pose for this photo and all she got was a soaked foot.
We did some window shopping for a brief bit but then got down to business.
Double Spiced Rum and Ginger with the no slip grip glasses! YAY!

Tommy's.  Our favourite reasonably priced watering hole that weekend. 

Oh one thing I forgot to mention that the hotel did not have a fridge!  I know right?  So we improvised for the weekend.

See that Schmirnoff Blueberry Vodka?  That was the second bottle because Snaggletooth dropped the first right outside the hotel.  I just about dropped to my knees and starting lapping that shit up but I pulled through and maintained my composure.  If you haven't tried the blueberry vodka & soda, do it.  It's refreshing.

As we were walking around again I came across this sign.

How perfect.  I posted it to facebook and tagged Snaggletooth.

Saturday we got our dehydrated arses outta bed early and decided to head to Radium Hot Springs in B.C which took close to 2 hours but seemed like 10 since we didn't really know where we were going.

First we ate a wicked breakfast at Melissa Misteak .  I don't know about their dinners but their breakfast is fast, hot, and tasty.  
Next stop was the Candy Shop.

It's small, cramped, and has all kinds of wicked old school candy.  I'm not much of a candy person but once in awhile I indulge especially with Wine Gums.  I bought Dutch, English & Irish Wine Gums.  I was not aware there were so many and so tasty. 
So we went to the bar, Rose & Crown, to enjoy our candy and a beverage. 
Big League Chew is for my honey.  All those white bags are filled with delectable candy.
So off we go to Radium.

The Tunnel right before you hit Radium.

No snow.

The Hot Springs Pool

Don't know why they quite needed 2 signs and on the INSIDE of the bathroom. The lack of urinals would prolly tip a guy off.

The cold pool

Add caption
The Hot pool was on the other side and not so square.  It was a nice soak for about an hour but none too thrilling. 

Back to Banff we go for an evening out.

We stopped in a few places for cocktails but nothing too exciting other than some old man trying to drunkenly chat me up.  We just enjoyed each others company all weekend.  When I say things like, "Nothing too exciting," it's because years back our adventures will NEVER BE BLOGGED about.  (Hey I might get into politics...ahahah ok maybe not) The scale was set pretty high

I shall leave you with a few random shots.  Enjoy your weekend people and don't forget to wrap it up.
Tacky Ass decor at the hotel.

This was on the opposite wall of the skier.   Seriously, who the hell randomly decorated this place?
Best Hand Puppet EVER

Perfecting that creepy look

Onsies for adults!

Back to Calgary/Into the Nothing



  1. I have started drinking chocolate Horlicks instead of booze at night. I guess I'm old too.

  2. great pics..i must go to big dump some time, just for the hell of it.

  3. Wow you took some really great pictures!!!!

    I love Canmore.

    And your friend has a nice arse!!!!

    And lastly I am jealous of that trip.

  4. Shit, girl!!! Do you know how many times I've made a hotel sink into an adult beverage cooler??? Clearly you guys are pro's. Sounds like a wicked pisser (pooper?) of a good time!! I'm jealous. Love the pics!

  5. hey, your phone took some pretty good pictures! though i really don't understand the giant hamburger on top of a car. or snaggletooth wearing those massive heels in the freezing cold! brrrr!

    and i'm also left wondering...will you be posting about my pooping habits when we go out? lol

  6. For a minute I thought the candy was a condom wrapper and you were having too much fun.

  7. Tony - I have no idea what that is but I like the way I think it sounds (whore-licks).

    Brucey - Erm I don't think there is such a place as Big Dumps. Maybe you should create one?

    Oilfield - Yeah the pictures turned out pretty decent for a BlackBerry Curve. I'll be sure to tell Snaggletooth you love her arse. hahah She'll appreciate that.
    When were you in Canmore??

    Heather - There's always ingenuity when keeping you need to keep your beer cold.
    Anytime you're in Calgary you're more than welcome to join the adventures! ;)

    Kage - The hamburger thing is for a burger joint there. Never eaten there but love taking pictures of it (I have another from a year ago of Manfriend chowing down on it).
    Well if talking about your pooping habits upset you I wouldn't but if not...I just might!

    Mrs Tuna - Haha No it wasn't that kind of a time...rewind about 5 years ago and we wouldn've been having that kind of fun. hahahah

  8. I forgot how funny you are :) You should write a book too :)

  9. I love how much poop there is in this post!!!! SEriously....girls shit too!!! My friends tell me they know more about my bowel movements than anyone else in their life.. lol I have no idea why I love talking about poops! Hilarious.

    Some of the best stories involve what's happening south of the border.. .u know why?! CUZ WE CAN ALL RELATE!!

    Lol I swear I'm much prettier than I sound in this comment! hahah

    anyways!! super jealous of your fabulous weekend. I love banff/canmore/radium! all wonderful. and you got to avoid the stupid thick, heavy white crap falling from the sky all weekend! lucky you!



  10. OH ya... and for Oilfield Trash's post on canmore... check it out here... it's HILARIOUS!

  11. But at least you got away from Sad BBQ Grill for awhile.

    And, before I even saw the next picture, after you asked 'Who randomly decorated' that place, my guess was 'Michael's crafts must have had one hell of a sale'

    Good times.


Don't be shy and comment away. All of my family knows of this blog so feel free to be as dirty as you like.