Tuesday, March 29, 2011

Quick Hello and Ceramics

It was a whirlwind weekend of heading to Banff with Snaggletooth as well as hitting up Radium Hot Springs, B.C. and now I'm back up at work which is being all busy and stuff.  How dare work come in-between me and blogging?! I most definitely want to post about our lil chickie drunk fest but there's just no time.  Not only is work busy but now we have to move to a different camp one that feels like a fucking prison and being the creatures of comfort that we are, we have a shit ton of stuff to move. 

Been trying to read as many blogs as possible as I start to go withdrawal when I don't know what's going on in your lives.  We do have a week off at home so if we're not rushed with activities and errands, I'll be sure to blog whore it up.

Before I go, we did pick up the ceramics we painted a few weeks back.  Yes I bitched that they were over priced but even if they're not perfect they're self gratifying.

Gee...which one is Manfriends?
My plate backside turned out better which is like totally opposite when it comes to me.
You didn't need to see Manfriend's backside.  It's all about me.
Then I got to dress that bitch up.

Sorry not too terribly exciting and a lil' fruity but hey, I gotta let my creative side come out to play sometimes.

Wednesday, March 23, 2011

First Day of Spring was March 20th....Right?

This is the way it looks March 23rd:

And back...just in case it might be different
This has been one damn long winter.  If we didn't spend 2 weeks in the Bahamas I'd either be fetal or stabby.  Depending on the day of course. 

Our BBQ has a sad.  This should be prime season to fire up the BBQ and start cleaning up the yard in preparation for gardening.  The older I get, the more I love gardening.  I find it therapeutic and rewarding but do not get to indulge in it as much as I would like.   Calgary will not be my place of retirement. 
I can't even walk my poor old doggy in this crap.

I give her plenty of cuddles and ball throwing to make up for it. 

It's about time I get my poop in a group and head to my appointment for Allergy testing. Oh after talking to several people at work I know what in for and definitely not looking forward to it.  However, at least I'll know what the hell I'm allergic to instead of the whole guessing thing.  Anyone who's going to quit smoking, don't be surprised if your allergies smack ya like a shovel to the face.   At least you get rid of the nicotine lung butter.

Monday, March 21, 2011

Really, I Got Nothing.....

Pretty much dry in what to post about but I felt that I should post.  I'm trying to be dutiful here.  So um...well I'm still at work up in Northern Alberta where it is nicer than the shit show snow storm happening in Calgary.  The Client is making us move to a camp that we do not like but there is nothing we can do other than suck it up.  That can be difficult when you think that we may be here for another year and we spend more time here than we do our own home.  What are we going to do?  Make the best of it of course.

Know what's awesome?  I'm flying home tomorrow on the 4:30 flight instead of 8pm on Wed.   The reason why is I'm going for Allergy Testing at Dr. Doctor's office (I shit you not, his last name is Doctor.  Talk about twice the ego!) and after talking to a few people here.....it's not going to be fun.  At least I'll have my doggy to cheer me up.  

One thing I will be doing that may fuel the creative blogging, is heading to Banff with Snaggletooth. We're heading for a couple nights to do some snow shoeing and party pretty much.  We usually have quite the fuct up adventures so stay tuned. Hopefully we won't be puking as much this time.

Know what else is awesome?  Your Fiancee saying that you're an immensely (Like a million times...)better cook than his mother and ex-wife.  Fuck yeah. Better recognize.

If you live somewhere warm, soak up some Vitamin D and send it my way will ya?

(Here's some stuff that made me giggle)

I admit that Manfriend explained this one to me.....what is to the far right corner of your screen right now??  Hahah

I suspect there's a few of us bloggers that fit this.

Thursday, March 17, 2011

Happy Snake Chasing Day

AKA:  St. Patrick's Day!

Not the most Shamrock flattering shirt but it's amusing none the less.

Oh I so had to add this:  

Wednesday, March 16, 2011

Weekend Follow up - Vets, Ceramics, Booze, and Dissapointment

Today's Post is brought to you by Search Keywords:
 How two people found my blog by searching, "Granny Fuck Pic," is beyond me.  It is also very wrong.  Ain't gonna be no Granny Fanny 'round here ya'll. 

So it's been a little while since I posted but that's how it goes when I'm enjoying my whirlwind of 3 and a half days off.  Then I come to work and have to leave early due to a fever.  When I'm sick the last thing I want to do is blog.  My brain is reserved for gaming and cheesy movies only.  

This past weekend went by so bloody quick that it seemed like a blink of an eye and I was on a plane again.  A flight that dropped so far and fast I nearly had to pull my intestinal tract off the ceiling. We started with Massage, Chiro, Doctor appt, groceries and picking up the kidlet. This pretty much eats up the entire day.  We did stop at Loco Lou's which is across from SAIT, meaning it was full of young college boys making me feel old.  Old and creepy for checking them out so lustily.

Next day it was off to the vet for Shayla and Aria:


If you don't have a harness for your cat, get one.  It's tons of fun. 

We also took time to do some wholesome fun painting ceramics.
Proof he can be creative.
My piece of stencil art.
Possibly one of the worst pictures.  It looks like I've had a stroke.
Really that picture is awful but at least I'm wearing my kickass apron from Sappy Apron.  Oh and of course the Kidlet was there but I don't need to post pictures out of her her mother would shit out a pigeon on my foul mouthed blog.  I'm quite stoked to see how our $40 freaking dollar plates will look after they've been fired up.  They better come out looking orgasmically fantastic for $135! Yes... $135 bucks for 2 plates and this rose container thing that the kidlet painted red & BLACK.  She's so goth.  Oh I almost forgot, that included the 15% gratuity that was mandatory.  You know it's cool if you let people know it's customary to tip in that kind of joint but to make it mandatory?  It's Canada, not Australia.   They explain the whole painting system there, came to our table to change the water once, and came back to the table to take our finished product.  I wouldn't call it exemplary service.  I call it, DOING YOUR JOB.   

Saturday night was a girls night for Snaggletooth and I.  We sat at the bar at the Pig & Whistle Pub in Beddington. I assure you it's a classy place.  It's a pub where a lot of Newfies tend to congregate so it's an interesting time.  We didn't have too many drinks but got pretty blammo'd.  One thing that was a nice surprise was the young lad bartender that was hitting on me.  Took me a few free drinks and winks to clue in but yes indeed, he wanted to tap my 32 yr old ass. I think...or just let me think that because my self-esteem has been sitting in the muddy ditch so let me have this one ok?
Gratuitous, dark, grainy, drunken pictures. 

Can't see shit but we thought we looked hot at the time. 

One thing that rocked was the plus temperatures that both Kage and I were thoroughly  thawing out enjoying.  (We so gotta hang in Cowtown ok?  I don't have many female friends especially with music tastes such as yourself. )

One thing that didn't rock was how absolutely smammered Snaggletooth ended up.  Well no, that was pretty amusing especially finding her face down, spread eagle, passed out on my bed.  The thing that sucked was listening to her yak for about 8 hours.  She's little but she's certainly not quiet!  The poor thing was so sick and I did what I could to make her feel better but when I could hear her heaving, I wanted to chunder. 

That is all my bloggy friends.  Oh other than apparently Chuck has pulled out (insert skanky joke here) of the event!  This ...is....a...travesty.  I was really really really realllllllyy looking forward to seeing him!  Really. 

Friday, March 11, 2011

What I Want to do to Chuck Ryhmes with Chuck...

April 7th I have a hot date. By hot date I mean I'm going to watch Chuck Hughes competing against Johnathan Canning, the Executive Chef, at Olives with Manfriend, Snaggletooth, and Kidlet.  They name the even appropriately, "Hot Chefs & Cool Food Iron Chef Elimination Battle."  
This is where we'll be:

And this is who we'll Oogling seeing:
Hellllloooo Chuck!
 Who is this saucy piece of meat you say?  He is the owner and cook  (apparently he perfers that term to Chef.) of Old Montreal's Garde-Manger.  He also has the Food Network TV Show, "Chuck's Day off."  Basically he whips a fantastic meal, oh so effortlessly, for family, friends, and business associates.

He's a hot cook who plays Canadian Bands like Daniel Wesley, who's another boyfriend of mine ( He just doesn't know it yet). 

Best music to cook to?
I have eclectic musical tastes. Right now I’m into Fats Domino, Wu-Tang, and Jack Johnson – cheeseball but relaxing.

The show first caught my attention on the flight to Toronto when we were heading to the Bahamas.  I was flipping through the channels on the plane and stopped when I heard some punk music.  Then I fell in lust with this blond, well stacked, gapped tooth, tattied, chef of a man!  He's passionate, genuine and his tattoos are dorky as hell.  

Q: What are you tattoos of?
A: Lobster, arugula, bacon, shrimp, lemon meringue pie, “I love oysters.”

So as you can see, I'm excited to see Chuck here in Cowtown. Also I'm very generous and will stand by the sidelines in case his shoulders get sore and need a wee rub down.  I know, I'm so selfless.



Wednesday, March 9, 2011

Panty Sniffer & Fun with Fanager *Update

It's been a quiet rotation due to the weather.  It was too cold for the craft to work (-35C to -40C) so they were sent home for a week.  This has left many of us with (I'm not going to say too much time on our hands because there's never enough time in this short life) more time to focus on pranking each other. My last post had to do with Gingermate leaving his PC unlocked and ending up with not so nice background images like:


Now I'm not trying to hate on Morbidly Obese people here, this is what the guys are doing and well...it's just plain not nice to look at.

So Fanager left his computer unlocked and Gingermate all over that like a Preacher on a choir boy.

This is what Fanager's Desktop looks like:

I think I peed a little when I Gingermate found this picture.  People starting asking questions as to how I Gingermate finds all these pictures.  It's like they're a bunch of internet virgins.  HELLO IT'S THE INTERNET, ARE YA NEW HERE?  There's thing that can not be unseen even when googling sweet baby kittehs. Shit these people need to get on the intertubes more.  
Pffft, probably haven't even watched, "2 Girls 1 Cup."  N00bs.

*Update:  Apparently I lost a follower because of this post.  Now I'm not all crazy about how  many followers but I liked the round number of 50.  *Makes Pouty Face*
I think it was probably the preacher comment.  Must be that. Yeah. 

*Double update I forgot to include the panty sniffer comic that had me in stitches.

Sunday, March 6, 2011

It's the F-Bomb Cold Out There!

Still stuck in the bloody deep freeze.  -39 outside this morning and that's just ugly. I want to cry.
But I won't.
I shall blog and post some random sh*t.  You outta be used to that by now.  

First I want to share an email that I received this morning from GingerMate.  We really have a great team and we like to prank eachother.  For example, Gingermate left his computer unlocked when he went to Ft. McMurray.  He comes back to his desktop wall paper being this:

He also left his facebook open.  Silly Monkey..you never leave your facebook open.  Otherwise people think you 'Like' some really creepy shit.

While we were screwing around on his PC apparently he had a little plan of his own. 

This was in my inbox this morning:
FW: Cat out of the bag!!!
Ginger Mate

To: AnotherDeptManger; Fanager
CC: Me; 6Flags (Have you seen the commericals he looks like that old guy); And other random co-workers 

Arriving at work this morning 6-Flags and I found a disturbing photo on the wall in his office that he shares. (*note:  6-Flags and Fanager share an office)

6-Flags does not feel comfortable working with his “back” to the person that has this type of material on the wall

If this person with the obvious gender problem can be dealt with in a timely matter, 6-Flags won’t request a location of office change.

Yours truly, speaking on behalf of the obviously shaken up 6-Flags


See Attachment:
The picture actually was of Fanager's desk and this Calendar pinned up next to it.  Had to crop it as there's plenty of signage of the company around.  No one reeeeally needs to know that.
Keep in mind people we work in Construction/Oilsands.  There is a delectable array of Rednecks from all over the country and the world.  Granted we are staff but most of us would not mesh well in a Corporate Cage Environment. 

Gingermate is really a shitdisturber (with a great heart) and I love it.  When 'Heffer' (She is totally opposite of a heffer & is a fox..but it's a running joke) took off on a Cruise for a week she had Gingermate go in her room and mess up her bed.  Camps can boot you out of your room if you're gone too long so he was making it look like she was there.  Before she left she said to him, "Now don't be going in my pantie drawer!" Of course that was the wrong thing to do because it only gave him a lil' fuel for the fire.  
He went and bought huge ass granny panties, big enough to be a Muumuu.  He hid all her other panties and replaced them with the monstrosities.  We knew that when she returned, if she didn't bring any others, she would be going commando (assuming she doesn't like to wear dirty panties. )  since there's not a chance in hell she could fit into them.  I told her she should've worn them, tied all the extra material with an elastic and let that shit hang out.   
This has only started a granny pantie war.  They keep showing up on each others doors with notes like "Excuse me miss but I believe you left these in the dryer."  Camp isn't a far cry from a Dorm Residence.

Now time for some links for random amusement. 
To go along with the Disgusting cookbook, "Natural Harvest," there is Cooking with Feces. It even has a Dog Poo Photo Album.  I can thank Geo (one of my faithful commenters) for introducing me to this vomit inducing website.  Why would someone create such a site?  WHY? *Goesintorockingfetalmotion*

I'm sorry for that link people but not really. 

For those days when you are going for a new cleavage style here is the Chinese Cleavage Clamp.  A++ for that commercial.  Top Notch. 

China is still trying to poison our kids.  They don't give up too easily do they?

Now this is a cool link for you nerd burgers out there.  Top Documentary Films - Watch Free Online.  There's a ton of flicks to watch on there.  Very groovey indeed.

Well folks, enjoy your Sunday and love your life because hey, you're still here.