Monday, February 28, 2011

Short Conversations With My Manager

ME -  Diligently working (c'mon now no laughing) while listening to Alt Nation Online Radio.

Enter -  French Manager who is 4 years younger than me. (I shall call him Fanager)


Fanager:  What is that music playing?!

Me:  Erm, that's from the 90's....it's Nirvana dude (Nirvana - Lithium)

Fanager:  Well he should be shot!

Me:  He shot himself! In the face to be exact.  WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN!?!
       ....oh right..QUEBEC.

For those of you who are Canadian you'll totally find the humour in that.  

So we're back to work again with all the dieting "Biggest Losers," coworkers.  
This is what my desk now looks like:

Dirty Meeses at it again.
For those who generally don't walk by my desk, I email them the above picture.  Yup I'm a chubby asshole who wants others to fail.  Not really, I always have candy for people.  It's how I make friends yo.   Just right now it reeeeeallly pisses and tempts people so it makes it all worth while. 


Enter Fanager:

Manager picks up a toffee, rolls it around in his fingers with a look of contemplation.  Manger then puts it back in the dish then proceeds to leave the office.

Me:   HEY! You can't just fondle the candies and then put them back!

Fanager starts walking down the hall.

Me:  You can't just treat them like your WOMEN! 

Fanager comes to a halt, turns around and promptly closes my office door and heads back to his office.

 
You want to hire me now don't you?


 

9 comments:

  1. hahahaha! QUEBEC.

    and yes, i do want to hire you.

    you simply MUST be our new director of customer services.

    ReplyDelete
  2. fondling the candy...like his women...

    and just the fact that you have all that candy...it is soooo fucking wrong that it is right!

    quebec nordiques = colorado avalicks = patty roy= total douche...

    a michiganders (redwings fan) view of quebec...

    ReplyDelete
  3. French men are such asshats!...I can say that, I'm French and from Quebec!!! Didn't know that did you!
    The sad thing is, I completely agree with you.
    This was HILARIOUS....if I write it in caps it means I really mean it! I'm still laughing at the visual of your last comment to Fanager being mercilessly throw at him as he put back the fondled toffee.

    ReplyDelete
  4. Kage - I work for deep tissue massages and vodka. I'm kick ass at customer service...even did it for adult phone chatlines.

    Bruce - The candy gets switched up as well. I did have Valentines days stuff out last rotation but the all the lil' piglets come out near the end of rotation and POOF candy is gone.

    Sandra - I'm not surprised you're French...you are pretty dirty, and I mean that in a good sense.
    My Manager is a good guy who we hang out with outside of work but I am relentless with him. He just makes it so fucking easy to pick on him. I love it.

    ReplyDelete
  5. Hahaha, it's funny, because I am Canadian, and I totally DID laugh at that.

    I have a co-worker who didn't know Nirvana, but I think it may have more less to do with geography and more to do with being just a scant year or two older than the kid on the Nevermind cover. Didn't know Finger Eleven either.

    I'm feeling old again. Gonna go drink now.

    ReplyDelete

Don't be shy and comment away. All of my family knows of this blog so feel free to be as dirty as you like.