Wednesday, February 23, 2011

I Want to Get Stabby

I try not to bitch about work too much because it's mundane and I want to keep my job.  I kinda like getting my nails and hair done not to mention traveling to tropical countries.  That's why I don't mention where I work other than the Oilsands and there's a greasy, nutsack load of projects up here.  
There was only one ranting post previously and it's basically about the same subject. 

I get safety, I mean I've been roomies and friends with plenty of HSE folk and HSE Managers.  I know why it's in place and the benefits.  I also know when some fucks don't have enough work to do that they try to justify their position.  The fat fuck they have as a Manager here is one of those.  Seriously, they put Peter Griffin in charge and he is gluttonous with power.  He's also a sexist prick but that's a whole 'nother story.  We shall call him Shipoopi
I'm not alone in my opinion of this individual, trust me.  Of course I have to be nice to his face otherwise I'm sure he would following me around spotting enough imaginary safety infractions to get my ass fired.  I don't work in the field, I work in the office but I have no doubt he could do it. 
So what did he do today to piss us off?
In my last post I told you how we were tormenting the dieters (Biggest Loser Challenge) by buying a breadmaker and flooding the office trailer with the aroma of fresh baked bread.  The plan has worked wonderfully and even though we ran out of flower after 2 loaves, others have gone into town to purchase bread flour and yeast.  (Who isn't a bread junkie deep down?)
Next time I should listen to my gut instinct and started a little bet to see how long Shipoopi it would take to find an issue with it.  The magic number? 4...Four fucking days.
This morning he waddled and wheezed his ass into the Project Managers Office to complain that we didn't have a proper bread knife and that someone might cut themselves.  So no bread baking/cutting allowed until we have a proper knife. 
You see what I mean about not having enough work to do?  It's a fucking serrated knife that everyone is quite apt at operating.  It does not require a Construction Work Instruction.  

This incident is what made me want to get stabby.  Know what doesn't?  Flying home today!!  This has been the longest rotation ever, mostly due to the fact we haven't been for a full rotation since before Christmas.  I'm looking forward to sleeping in our bed, sleeping in till 7am, hanging with the Kidlet, and playing with Shayla (my lil' fat dog.)

She loves eating teh snow.
One other thing I'm looking forward to is finally meeting my friend Laura from Awesome Days and Awkward Nights . We met on Chizzat which was one of the first generation applications on Facebook.  She was residing over on the East Coast but now is going to school in Brandon, MB.  Since it's her 'Reading Break' I told her to come visit in Calgary.  The bitch listened!   She's younger, and I'm a bad influence so it should be interesting and hopefully she can avoid jail time.


  1. I can so agree with you on the HSE folks in the oilpatch with their twisted logic on shit.

  2. except for the lack of income, i am glad i am unemployed...

    peter griffin...LOL

  3. Haha, I just realized I totally use a spoon to butter bread more then a knife because my roommates hog the butter knives and never clean them and I usually avoid the sticky gob of whatever they used the knife for and go the spoon route. I'm weird.

    I'm going to torment drunk natives on the bus to Calgaria with tangents about anatomy for 16 hours. LOL.

  4. *Sigh* Another useless fatcat clogging up the system.

  5. haha! shipoopi's clearly worried about his fat figure.

    "we need a proper knife." really? cuz it's a regulation bread maker? exactly what model knife should we be using? let's check the book. oh wait, there isn't one.

    glad you're getting some time off from that git. let me know when you and laura are ready, i'll come and bail you guys out of jail ;)

  6. I HATE managers like that. It's like they're so fucking bored at work that they just walk around, looking for things to do to piss people off. Are their lives really that miserable??

    Oh, and that Will Smith picture was freaking hilarious.

  7. Ah the all Almight Safety Gods. I remember going onsite to clients office. This client (I can't say cause we are trying to win an alliance with them) are the kings to the whole saftey craze. (did you know here is Sarnia is were all the saftey started for the oil industry). Anyway on site, we are in their main office and we have a meeting on the second floor. They only have stairs to get to the second floor. So my coworker and I are walking up the stairs, when their saftey 'Nazi' runs over and tells me he will ban me from working on their site if I don't get my hand on the handrail while climbing the stairs. Around here, you get a bad saftey record you don't get hired.
    Anyways enjoy your home time beautiful and say hello to Manfriend for me.


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