Sunday, February 20, 2011

Things to Amuse Me and Sunday Ramblings

Here we are on's quiet, cold (-19 feels like - 28 but I guess it's better than -41 like the other day) and Manfriend had a little too much pop, of the wobby variety, and was not fit for duty.
This means I'm bored, cold, and lonely. 
Yes I'm getting my work done too but I can stop to take a break.  I don't smoke anymore so I'm not getting all the breaks like they do but I certainly don't miss freezing my fingers off to go puff on a butt.  Nor do I miss the stench but since half the site smokes so I constantly get a reminder whiff. 
Today I'm just going to share some pictures of things that amuse me.

Did I tell you that I moved offices before the 6 weeks off?  I HAVE A FUCKING WINDOW!!!! YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH.  You really don't understand what that means to me. 
One thing is that I could start growing our Mini-Me's.
I'm the one holding the massive diamond on the right of course.

Oh and that's my new office mate who I shall call GingerMate.  We mash well and he does stuff like turns on my PC before I arrive and waters my Mini-Me's if I'm not around.  So I try not to blast him out with any Slipknot/ICP/Five Finger Death Punch/Tom Jones when we're working.  I'm respectful like that.

That's right...that's my window.

So you remember at my previous job what my shitty ass cubicle desk looked like?

It didn't look like that all the time. I was in the process of cleaning every thing out and packing as it was my last couple days.  Still it was cramped, cluttered yet always cleaned and dusted. 
Now I have more space! it really didn't make a difference.  I have more room so now I have more stuff. Hey, I'm comfy and I have moose that are constantly performing dirty sex acts all around the office.  Dirtay meeses.

One other addition to my desk is something that I did a post about.  When I returned from our 6 glorious weeks off this was on my desk.

How awesome is that?!?!?!?
I mean look...he's pooping paperclips.
Excuse the pun but the Shitty thing about it is who it came from.  I was very fucking irate upset with the person.  It seemed to me, and others, that this person tried to set me up for failure when I took over their job, while doing mine, when they were on vacation. So it was rather mixed emotions when I recieved it.  I'm over it and I think it's the best stationary holder EVER.  

One thing I'm mad about is that my mini-me has a bald spot.  Totally unrealistic guys..c'mon.  It should be Manfriends mini-me.
Asshole Bald Spot.

At least Mini-Manfriend's eyeballs kept falling off so I got to do this to it:

I love how his eyes are all squinty around the office tack I jammed into his forehead. Speaking of which, I sent him an email demanding he buy me Magicka and download it during the day while the intertube traffic is slow at camp.   The blame for this falls on Drake and his damn reviews. Thanks a lot buddy.  You enabler you.  
Also the fact that The Witcher game I devoted so much time to and neglected the blogsphere FUCKING GLITCHED. I absolutely can not get to the final chapter without going wayyyyyyyyyyy back and trying another method. It's too soon and I too raw to go that far back.  Fuckity!

*Whew* Had to take a step back there. I was getting all worked up. Sorry aboot that.  Just kidding.  I say about and don't know anyone except East Coast Canadians that pronounce it 'Aboot'.  Mind you, they have a whole new type of special English that I don't care to adopt. No hard feelings ok?

Getting back on track here, on our last long drive from Ft. McKay to Calgary we finally got to stop at this fine establishment in Wandering River.

If you look to the far right on the roof you'll see the red lettering, "BAR."  The first time I saw that I practically begged him to stop.  It was a no go...every time we passed by.  For some reason I love going to the dingiest, possibly dangerous, dives.  I eat that shit up.  He just doesn't have the flare adventure that I do.  I know right?  Fortunately someone we work with stopped there and said it really wasn't that bad.  Keep in mine, this coworker/friend is a clean cut redneck who's BlackBerry Messenger is a dead, bloody, dear in the back of his truck. Right.

This place is a gem.  Comes complete with it's 60 year old, questionable hygienic owners. Granted it's 11am but come on lady, what's with the dirty jogging suit?  At least wash and bedazzle that shit. 
One thing that was odd was there were signs all about stating, "No CAMERAS."  They didn't say anything about phones with cameras....or no pictures. 

We were ninja.  Ok, not really.  They served us our beer & Smirnoff Ice (wasn't taking a chance on drinking out of a glass there) and disappeared.

He has pictures of the other end of the bar where there's a shit ton of dead animals.  There were marble accusatory eyes staring at you from every direction. Since he's being a hungover pussy (I say that with love honey), I'll have to get them later.

We were hungry but not THAT hungry so we passed on the small deep friend menu.  I'm sure it was safe as their bathrooms were very clean.  Hey, good test of measure when you are going to eat in an establishment is check how clean the bathrooms are.  It's generally a good indication on how clean the kitchen is.  I learned that from a Health Inspector.  
Besides the bathroom being clean they were well supplied.
I didn't have a looney aka $1 (for you yankees) so no wild things for me.
I almost forgot! The bar came with a pussy cat too.

Check out that old school table hockey to the left.
Yup, he was just wandering around.  Nice lil' chap.  Weird to see in a BAR though. 

One finally thing before I get back to it.  People are doing the "Biggest Loser Challenge," at work.  I'm not because I didn't feel like throwing away $100 but I do enjoy the warfare that is currently going on and tend to partake here and there. (I am the one who has candy/chocolates on her desk all the time.) Yesterday GingerMate got one of our guys to pick up a bread maker and supplies in town.  We set it to have fresh baked bread at 6am this morning so the office trailer was wafting with the sweet odor of fresh baked bread.  To top it off, we placed that yummy goodness right at the front along with whipped butter and jam packets. 
They stood their ground for about an hour and a half then *POOF* it was like a cackle of hyenas going after a lame water buffalo. 
Then there was none. 

I'm going score some cinnamon and we're going to bake up a sugar cinnamon loaf tomorrow morning. We're assholes like that.  


  1. i want a little blue man that poops stationary!

    though i would not be willing to go all the way to fort mac to get it. how can you make that drive on a regular basis?!

    oh, and do your old pal a favor, would you, ck? just pop by showgirls and give the manager a shot in the face for me? then run like hell. there's a dear ;)

  2. fucking hi.lar.i.ous.

    i like the fact you took a tack to hold the eyes on that little guy.

    does manfriend have a splitting headache?

    Bruce Johnson JADIP
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  3. We don't do the drive on a regular basis. Generally we fly but once in awhile we drive. That way we have our own vehicle and can go into town for supplies. This project doesn't allow many vehicles to travel to town.

    Hah..I haven't been to ShowGirls for a year now. If I do....I'll try my best. I'm a sucker for a hot chicks.

  4. I love that bar. I share your affection for dives like that. The bar cat makes it irresistable.

  5. Bruce - Hahah's just like a little voodoo doll. Instead of a headache he's got a gutache.

    Kal - I know..a Bar Cat. If I own a bar I want to have a bar cat and call it Pussy.

    Heeerrrre pussss pusss puss pussy.

  6. When you buy an RPG, you’re pretty much setting yourself up for glitch city because those games are significantly longer with multiple paths. Thank goodness most problems these days can be addressed by the developers. Can’t remember what the hell we did back in the late 80s/early 90s, relied on the CDs attached to magazines I guess?

  7. ...Cats...IN A BAR?!

    I cringe at the fact that this bar has a kitchen PLUS A CAT. Cats are sneaky bitches, I don't wanna risk finding a kittys tail in my deep-fried____


  8. Congrats on getting a window view.

    I often have wet dreams about getting an office at work which has windows instead of the "bunker" that I work in which does not have windows.

  9. I was checking my email and noticed that you left a comment on my blog. Until (extremely) recently I had few new comments so it's nice to know you are still reading. :)

    I also love the pooping paper clips guy. Can you find out from the person who gave it to you where exactly they got it from. I'd love to pick one up for myself. Thanks.

    Oh, and I was totally going to rag on you about the UNBELIEVABLY messy desk. Until I continued reading to where you CLAIMED that it was from when you were cleaning it out. Yeah, right. LOL.

  10. Oilfield - Oh it was a long time coming getting a window. It's amazing...even if the view is of a Oil Sands Plant.

    Carmen - I was really out of the blogosphere for awhile but trying to catch up.

    The pooper paper clip guy came from some store in hallmark shop or something. I'll have to ask again. Otherwise you can get it here:

    Oh that messy desk was from me cleaning it out. That area was the only storage space I had for all files..everything. so I was emptying the bankers boxes etc that I stored shit in. It was chaos.

  11. Congrats on the window seat. I recently upgraded to a window seat too, then had to fight to get blinds. I got the sunny corner.
    I have to be more adventerous like you and try all these little dive bars.

  12. I know right! We so don't say "aboot!" My husband is a Newfoundlander and he doesn't even say "aboot!" It must be those stupid New Brunswick people from Moncton. I hate them.
    You Mini-Me is/are charming even with the bald spot.
    Send me your address, I'll send you a kick-ass care package! Ok...I'm not creepy, honestly. But I was married to military doing tours for 15 years, I know how to pack a fine gift.
    And I used to smoke to, and after 15 years a non-smoker, I still love how it smells! Not on my clothes, just in the air!
    Hey, thanks by the way, for checking out my guest posts and my interview over at the LG Report. Your support means the world to me! xoxoxo

  13. Laughing out loud!

    I want so of those potato heads...brings back memories....


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