Tuesday, December 28, 2010

One More Speed Bump to Go

For the first time in 3 years we were home before Dec 22nd.  We thought we would have the tree up early, shopping done, cookies baked, and all the usual Christmas hoo-hah done early. 
December 20th.
Manfriend:  I'm not feeling so well.
Me: *feels his forehead* well you don't have a fever.
Manfriend: My skin feels all scratchy.
Me: No it doesn't.
Manfriend: *Looks pathetically at me*
Me: No...we are not getting the flu again right before Christmas.  Take some Tylenol.  I feel fine. 
We both lay down on the couches.  1 hour later....
Manfriend: You ok honey?
Me: *Wearing flannel pjs at 6pm under a blanket shivering*  Nooooooo.
The stage of denial is over and pathetic acceptance has taken over with a high fever.  My skin is burning so much that Kidlet is wetting paper towel with cool water and dabbing it on my face.
Ok, I had the swine flu (of course..I get every fucking thing that comes along since I was a kid) and it wasn't as bad as this.  Swine flu just lasted a long time. This flu....I thought I was going to need a rectum transplant. 

Long story short, and to spare you further gross details, we still didn't get a Christmas tree up.  It's never going to be up any earlier than the 23rd.  And lemme tell ya, nothing gets you in the Christmas spirit like last minute shopping, while still recovering from the flu, in places like Walmart.  After that...flu or not I guzzled had a drink. 

  We did however buy a new fake tree and I don't want to hear any preaching from "Real Tree," lovers.  Whats the point when it's only going to be up for a week.  Plus people actually pay for tree's out here.  I grew up in a place where we drove down a logging road and had our pick. If I'm gonna fork up cash for a tree it best be lasting quite a few years.

  So I was a bit grinchy this year and only brought up a few decorations before we bought the tree.   This is because the last couple years, guess who takes down the damn tree and ends up hauling all the boxes into the basement because she gets tired of staring at them by the stairs.  Yeah...that's right...Me.  So since no one likes to help they decorate by my rules.
  Our new tree is pre-lit with white lights.  We go into Canadian tired for a meat thermometer and I find myself wandering to the Christmas isle.  I see blue LED lights.  OOoooo la la. I call Manfriend over and ask if he doesn't mind the blue lights.  Then we see 2 large containers.  One of blue bulbs, one of silver.  I asked if he was down with a themed Christmas tree.  He is right kosher with it and always wanted to do one. 
So my grinchy bitch went away AND there's 3 containers to put everything away.  1 for the tree, 2 for the blubs and we'll just shove the lights ....somewhere. 

Ignore the mess around the tree.  It does not exist.

We even put lights around the window.  Festive, I know. We even baked 4 types of cookies.  Guess who doesn't eat cookies and had to do most of the clean up/baking. Mmmhmm

Shayla aka Fat dawg was forced into the festivities. She really is a camera ham.

She really wanted to get a piece of that Tigger action. Aka violation.

We also got Cavedweller's cat Aria in on the festivities.  Basically we got her all hopped up on catnip and honeysuckle wood (cats love that shit).

Her "Fat Freddys Cat, " Catnip cigar.
Kitty got her drugs and fat dawg got her favourite:  A vibrating toy. 
High-five for Good Vibrations!

On Christmas early morn we packed up the truck and headed off to Edmonton to Manfriend's Sister's place with Snaggletooth following close behind.  I shall call her O'OrganizedOne.  Cavedweller (his brother) and his mother were already there.  
It was very wintery in Edmonton but us tough girls went out for a stroll because everyone else was sleeping or on their laptops.

A position Snaggletooth is used to.

We actually got called out by a bunch of kids taunting us with snowballs.  Snaggletooth was disappointed because I kept walking as they taunted.  She says I'm losing my edge. I say I hate fucking snowball fights. 

So yay..Christmas is over.  The next speed bump is New Years Eve.  Then it is only 5 days till we head to the Bahamas. OMFGIAMSOGAWDDAMNEXCITED GETMEOUTOFTHISBITCHASSSNOW.  So far we have a booze/snorkel cruise booked as well as a kayaking/snorkle/Cave exploration thing booked.  We also booked a flight from Freeport to Nassau and going to spend a weekend there as well. 
He's gonna kill me for this picture.  No one is pretty when they have the flu.
Ok, ok.  I've done my bit of bragging.  I hope you all had a Merry Christmas or whatever you may Celebrate.  Play nice or naughty but have fun.

Gratuitous smootch shot. 


  1. I'm trying to decide if the body in front of the tree is excersing to lose a few holiday pounds or passed out drunk.

  2. Hahah Mrs. Tuna..that's the Kidlet. We try to get her to drink but she just won't have any of it. Weirdddd.

  3. That's it, I'm getting blue lights next year.

  4. Love, love, LOVE the picture of kitty cuddling with the catnip cigar!!

  5. I love that shot as well! She looks like an ecstatic junkie! lol

  6. i have always liked blue lights...

    when the last fakie failed to make the move from old house to new house, cuz it wandered off to GoodWill, all of its own volition, mind you..i had nothing to do with its' disapearance, the wife bought a fibre optic tree...it is a plug and go thing...noice


  7. I definitely wouldn't have bothered with a real tree if it was only going to be up for a few days.


    BAHAMAS ZOMG SO EXCITED FOR YOU!!!!! Have a shot for me, please!

  8. Sara - ZOMG I KNOW!! 7 more snowfuckingfilled days left!!!

  9. 1. Love the gratuitous smooch
    2. That ham/dog is adorable
    3. The pot smoking/catnip kitty is hilarious
    4. Stop talking about your trip down south or I'll be forced to come along with you
    5. Manfriend still looks hunky with the flu
    6. As for the flu you both had, well it would seem we partook of a threesome because you had the exact same thing I had! It's a bitch, right!
    7. Your tree is lovely.
    8. Loved this post
    9. Come to Winnipeg and try to go for a leisurely walk in the fucken cold, I dare you!

  10. Men are such babies when they get sick...I feel for them. Women, we can have 104 fever, clean the house, go to work, run a marathon, get the laundry done and then say, "oh, I am feeling a bit warm."

    Men, one sniffle and the world ends.

    Enuf said..



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