Last weekend was my first days off at home that I was a non-smoker. There was a bit of apprehension on the extremely turbulent flight home but I figured it would be a breeze. What did I want to do as soon as I walked in the door?
This was pretty much the entire 4 days off (work 10 days off 4). It was so barfully hard! When you work out of town it's kinda like you live two lives so it was almost starting from scratch. The nicotine is not the factor, it's just the habit. Sitting out on the sunny back deck listening to tunes with a bevy but minus the smoking just seems wrong still. It just seems like something is missing constantly. To top it off I found a brand new pack of Rum flavoured PrimeTime (cigarillos).
Rum Flavoured Tobacco?! OoOOooOooOo Me Please!! I thought...well they don't really count.....they are something you only smoke once in awhile. Then I thought...who the fuck am I kidding? I can't just casually smoke something that is the same size as a cigarette and tastes 10 times better than one. Nice try on the rationalizing you tool. Basically there was quite a bit of self-talk/conversing/arguing/bashing going on last weekend.
Well I made it through several appointments (smoking is a great time killer when you're waiting), the kidlet's (Manfriend's daughter) 11th birthday at a "Family Fun Center," and a few bottles of vino without smoking. I did break down and chew half a piece of the raunchy nicotine gum but all in all I think I handled it pretty gracefully.
Maybe I lie a wee bit.