Seriously...Think Before You Speak

My first goal after finishing work was to throw a load of laundry on and head straight to the gym. When I got to the gym it was fantastic!! I was the only one there.  My plan was to do 25 mins of cardio, switch my laundry, go to the dining hall for dinner before all the craft arrived then go back to my room and do about 45 mins of yoga and strengthening exercises.  

The elliptical is an eviiiil machine.

I definitely don't look like that.

It's evil but not that hard to figure out like that sonofawhore treadmill at Manfriends Camp.  However, I must figure out the program that suits me a little better since the weightloss one kicked my ass.  I made it through the whole time with some quick water sips.  Remember I said I was the only one there?  That didn't last long.  A very nice east coast lady was next to me and that was all cool but then this older man I know from site came in.  The first thing he says to me is, "Well this is a weird place to see you."  He's an all right guy but he says stupid shit.  I generally take it with a grain of salt but yesterday he was annoying the piss out of me.  You know one of those kids in school that were lucky because they had a big stature. Anyways,  as I'm busting my hump on this damn machine with the resistance of the machine increasing, he's walking around lifting weights here and there. So I'm listening to tunes and he's standing in front of me saying something.  I pause my ipod and he asks, "Breathing Heavy?" "Uh-yeah...it's only day 17 of not smoking and I'm a lazy bastard."  What would compel someone to ask such a moronic question?!  You KNOW I just quit smoking and it's obvious this machine is working me hard.  You really think I will be taking in tiny effeminate breaths? 

Finally I am done my time and now it's time to go and switch my laundry, clean up, and get have some dinner.  There I am heading out the door he yells out across the gym, "Leaving ALREADY?!"   I look back and say, "Yeah, I gotta change my laundry."  "Sure sure, nice excuse," he yells as I'm walking down the hallway.  

 

 You tubby bitch, how dare you fucking blurt that condescending shit out at me.  First of all I'm about 10% of your size.  Second of all I'm 100% hotter than you are.  Yes, this narcissistic self-talk makes me feel better..for the moment. 

 

 

After cleaning up and trying not to sweat I start my journey to the dinning hall in a pretty decent mood and famished.   I run into this older American man and walk along side of him as we exchanged pleasantries.  He asks abruptly how far long I am. I told him I'm not, it's just fat.  He makes the awkward situation worse by stating, "Well you already have kids then." No.     

Ok, I'm 5'5 and 135lbs.  When I gain weight I always gain it around my mid-section and I've always had a terrible tummy (huge source of low self-esteem right there) since I was a kid.  I've been 115lbs at 5'5 and working out and still the same thing.  I fucking absolutely hate it.  What I fucking absolutely positively hate even more?  When some old fuck, who is guaranteed to have a gut hanging out, asks me when I'm due or if I'm pregnant.  This has happened to me way too many times to count.  Women never say this shit. EVER. 

 

I try to not let it get to me but as I sit at a table by myself with my camp cooked dinner, I lose it.  Really pathetic looking trying to choke back tears in the dinning hall by myself.  I hurt and pretty much hate men at this point.  Then I chat with Manfriend over blackberry messenger and he cheers me up. I'm lucky to have such a wonderful man in my life.