The Opposition

I imagine there's a few of my smoker friends that won't read my blog because they think I've become one of those people.

She's just a goody goody who's going to look down on smokers...bitch  A high percentage of my friends in Alberta are smokers so I'll be kinda lonely if I adopt that attitude and I kinda like having friends. Attention-starved hermit really doesn't work so I will do my best not to be a total cow. MOO

 I tend to MOO.  Just another weird Tourette-like part of my charismatic personality.

It's pretty interesting how many smokers don't want other smokers to quit.  I received some nasty attitude from some chick in the work smoke shack when they heard I was going to start taking Champix. Well that doesn't fucking work and it made my boyfriend of  X-years so moody we broke up! (Your piss poor attitude and sloppy fat ass had nothing to do with the break up at at, I'm sure.)  I was taken aback by such a caustic comments.  One gentleman who standing afar from the shack said, "Well that's a total self-defeating attitude to take!"  He congratulated me on quitting and told me that it'll be the best thing I'll ever do in my life.  I kinda hope I do some things better than quitting smoking in my life but none-the-less I really appreciated the encouragement.  

I guess I don't really get those negative smoking lifers because I wasn't one of them.  I always supported people who wanted to or were quitting smoking. You would be quite the toxic douche if you encourag it. Oh you are so not hangin' unless you're hacking up lung butter along with me...that's right, all the cool kids are doing it.

There has been more positive support than negative but people tend to focus on the negative.  It takes one little snide comment for self-doubt to kick in.  This blog was probably the best idea for an outlet to deal with all that self-doubt.  During the points I was really struggling last weekend, I would think about how I could write about that particular stress point.  It gives me a replacement focus and I can post funny shit, which is a key point for me.  

Disappointment in myself and guilt is best avoided.  I don't want to disappoint others, especially my family.  That's why I tell so many people now that I quit and I talk about it.  I need to talk about quitting because I have to keep reminding myself at this early part in the stage.  I can tell it makes some smokers uncomfortable because they're eyes get all shifty like.....................

But anyways...that's enough of my thoughts for today.  One amusing question this old-lifer asked me was, "Now what do you do after sex?" I quickly replied, "I have more."  Yup..another notch in the popularity belt on this construction site.