My Turn for Drunk Texting

I was in bed waiting for Manfriend to get back to our camp room from the lounge.  I sent this text with one bloodshot eye open:

"Bar is clowwwed."

(Translation:   I'm drunk and it's lonely here.  I'm too drunk to contemplate sex but I would very much appreciate some lulling cuddles.  So if you could kindly expedite your ass here I would be a happy woman.)

Then I passed out, drooling fell asleep.